Signs convey information, don't they?

Travel Signs:   These seem to get lost in Translation
The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
"If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it."
An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you:
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
In a certain African hotel you may choose
between: "A room with a view on the sea or the backside of the country."
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels reads:
"Come inside and have a fit."
A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
"If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, please cry out for the chambermaid."
This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator:
"The lift is being fixed for the next days. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
"If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up."
Signs on doors and shops:
- At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
- In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
- At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
- At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
- On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
- At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
- On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
- In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
- At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
On a Califormia freeway:
Fine for Littering
In a New York jewelry store:
Genuine Faux Pearls
In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken Lenses Duplicated Here
In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only
Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help
On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge
On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.
At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended
On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur
In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken
In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here
On a Jacksonwille, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books
On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honoring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library
On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant
"Blackened bluefish"
In a Maine restaurant
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
On a New York convalescent home
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church"
Outside a country shop in West Virginia
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store
"15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!"
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago
"Do not activate with wet hands."
In a New York restaurant
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."
In the offices of a New Jersey loan company
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In the window of an Oregon general store
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"
In downtown Boston
"Callahan Tunnel - NO END"
On a Tennessee highway
"Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut
"No trespassing without permission."
In a New York medical building
"Mental Health Prevention Center"

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This page last updated 2004/07/08

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