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printer friendly version [Story read earlier in the service was the chapter called the Mad Tea Party in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll] "I don’t understand you," Alice said as politely as she could. Think back to the last Mad Tea Party you had….that time you may have needed to say politely, "I don’t understand you." Where was that conversation? and did you ever clear up the confusion, or did you walk away without an understanding? If you’ve ever been in a confused conversation with me - you may have heard me say something like "can you give me more words?" That’s the way I’ve learned over the years to indicate to the person I’m talking with that I don’t quite understand what they’re telling me, but I think that if they talked some more, and used some more words, I might eventually catch on. I might remember the reference they’re making or figure out why they’re telling me this particular thing, or solve the riddle, as Alice says. It’s not a very elegant way to make my request, but it’s been of practical use at times. Human conversation is really not a simple thing. It’s so complicated, in fact, that breaking it down into pieces can nearly drive you crazy - which clearly Lewis Carroll knew and appreciated. I studied both linguistics and sociolinguistics in college - out of pure interest. I loved figuring out the rules. The rules of linguistics are about the structure of the language, and the rules of sociolinguistics include the social context in which the language is learned and used. All of it fascinates me still. I’m fascinated by the mystery - the mystery of the space between the words - the social understandings, as well as the words themselves - how imperfect they can be, and how useful. I’m fascinated by the transformative power of the word - and of the relationships they address. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and Word was God," it says at the beginning of the Gospel according to John. If God is a word to describe power and mystery - then I agree that the word - the spoken and the written word - the word is both powerful and mysterious - it’s Godlike, if you will. Words can shape us - the early words we hear can shape who we become - and many of us struggle, then, as we age, to change some of those early messages and find new words, new voice and new power to shape ourselves and our world. I hope you heard Ruelaine Stokes and Sally Potter from this pulpit this summer - because they did an entire service on the power of voice, which I listened to later, and made this point better than I’m doing now… There’s one particular word I want to talk about this morning - I suspect most of you can guess - from visual context, and my message to the youth - what word that is. Covenant. I could also turn to the bible to define the word covenant - that’s where many of you may have first heard the word. Your feelings about the bible may lead you to like the word, or distrust it. God changes Abram’s name to Abraham, and makes a covenant with him…. Of course, the covenant I’m talking about in a Unitarian Universalist context does not involve God, or at least, the God of the Hebrew or Christian scriptures. It may have the divine attributes of mystery and power, but I am using the word to speak of agreements we make between people. You could call these agreements rules - such as the rules of grammar or the rules of social linguistics - they can be both descriptive rules - rules that describe what we actually do - and prescriptive rules - rules that describe what we think we should do and how we wish to be - but they are a kind of rules. Unitarian Universalists aren’t really known for liking rules much. and I swear - I was born Unitarian Universalist, but I’m a rule follower. I cross at the crosswalk, and read the instructions before I assemble things - I think you should know this about me. I stand in lines I’ve been told to stand in, and basically, I follow the rules. Until I don’t - that is, until I discover the reason I think I shouldn’t. Whereas, what I understand about many U.U.s - and not all, to be sure- but I’ve come to learn that many of you distrust rules to such an extent that you will do the opposite of what a sign says until and only if you understand and agree with the instruction on the sign - but not before. But here is the important distinction between the kind of rules I’ve been joking about and covenants. The rules you may not like to follow are prescriptive - and generally one way. The sign tells us to use the crosswalk, or the police or the law tells us. Or the bookshelf manufacturer gives me instructions to assemble my new bookshelf. I didn’t really negotiate the rules with anyone. I got them, and then had a decision to make about following them or not. And, as I said, many of you decide not to follow them, or not to follow them until you decide you agree with them, and others of us tend to follow them, or to follow them until we decide we disagree with them. (I bet there are truly independent thinkers out there who don’t tend one way or another, but are able to take each rule on its own merit. Most of us just aren’t that well evolved.) Covenants, however, as I’m using them in a church context, and in a Unitarian Universalist context, and as I use the word this morning, are about mutual agreements made willingly and with consent. When I became your minister, you (the congregation that was gathered on that third of November, 2002) ordained me and pledged to walk with me in the unity of spirit, in the bond of peace, and in truth and love. When you installed me, you rededicated yourselves to the values of this religious society and the liberal religious tradition of which it is a part. In that ceremony, I, in turn, promised you - to speak the truth in love both publicly and privately and to fulfill the offices of worship, instruction, counsel, service and administration. I pledged myself to continue our mutual search, to nurture and kindle curiosity, to encourage growth and sensitivity, to foster a sense of wonder about the universe and to act courageously in our quest for truth, peace, and justice. I further promised to keep alive the meanings of this service so that our ministry and our life together will be enriched by the spirit and trust we have given each other. These are words of covenant. This weekend your board of trustees made some covenants with one another at their board retreat. It was a great conversation and process and they were able to discuss some serious issues as they settled on agreements. As staff members, we have covenanted with each other. The congregation did a separate re-covenanting process with Teresa Putnam in the fall of 2003 and that process eventually led to a change in her title and job from Director of Religious Education to Director of Lifespan Faith Development. - all these words, all these powerful and mysterious words, are our imperfect and yet practical way to enter into relationship with one another by saying what we mean and meaning what we say. We make promises to one another. Do we ever break them? Well, of course, and when we break a promise, it’s a good time to ask - is this a promise we want to change? Shall this promise remain as a goal, and should we change our behavior? Or shall we change the promise itself to be consistent with what we do? There’s no right or wrong way to deal with a broken covenant. It simply has to be negotiated and mutually agreed upon. This is the principle behind covenant groups - the small relational groups that have that powerful and mysterious word in it. I hope you’ve heard about them. Registration forms are available this morning, if you’re interested in trying them out. These groups are… well, let me tell you about them another way. What is a covenant group? (responses are read by 8 facilitators in a choral reading)
What happens in a covenant group?
What do people talk about?
What do covenant groups do?
Who will be in your group?
Who is welcome in a covenant group?
What is covenant group like?
But what is this word, covenant, in covenant groups?
Thank-you (to the facilitators)… Many people come to church to find community - that’s what the members of this church say pretty consistently - and it came up strong in the survey you did when you were in search for a minister. But it’s hard to find community only in worship on Sunday mornings. I’m glad that some of you find enough to come on Sunday and that it will feed you for the week. But most of us need a little more connection. Some of you are probably good at coffee hour conversation. Some of us are not. Most people find that to get a deeper connection with the community, they need to do a little more. Sing in the choir. Teach or take a course - work with children or adults. Volunteer on a committee, or attend circle suppers. There are lots of ways to get connected to a church community. Covenant groups are another way. However, I think they’re the best kept secret around this place, frankly, and this morning, the facilitators and I wanted to make them not so secret anymore. If you’re looking for a way to deepen your understanding of yourself and others, if you’re looking for a way to broaden your connections in church, consider joining a covenant group. There’s a special table set up this morning in the Fireplace room with information about them and registration forms. Wander on over there after the service for the printed material. If you want to ask questions, head on over to the Marion Vaughn Parlor where some facilitators will be happy to answer your questions about the groups. And stop by the Activities table to find out about other opportunities to get to know people and to get involved. It matters less how you find that community, or deepen it, or engage it, and more that you do it. It’s hard to communicate well with others. It’s not as simple as it might seem. We’ve created these groups to help make it easier, but however you do it, just do it. And maybe you come to church on Sunday, and have your community somewhere else - and that’s terrific. I hope you appreciate that community that you have, however - because I’m afraid it’s a rare thing in this world. More common may be that conversation that Alice had with the Mad Hatter - misunderstandings and non-sequiturs and problems with words, those powerful and mysterious means by which we communicate and mis-communicate with one another. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Maybe you’re like Alice and it’s the same thing. Maybe you agree with the March Hare and it’s not. What’s important is that we keep checking with each other - because words are used in conversation, in context, in community. We can harness some of the power by saying, like Alice, as politely as you can "I don’t understand you.". Words only mean what we agree together that they mean. So let’s keep at it. and keep at it until we can truly speak with one voice, one powerful and mysterious voice. Amen. * Sermons are meant to be spoken and not written. I have not edited this homily to written form. Unitarian Universalist
Church of Greater Lansing
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