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printer friendly version I love the story about the monks and the rabbi because it illustrates a change in human interaction that is otherwise hard to describe. This change in feeling or spirit of community seems ethereal and intangible, and thus difficult to direct or make happen. The change of the religious community from a failing and dying one to a thriving and growing one is palpable in the story for all ages which I shared with you this morning. Unfortunately, I think what is more tangible and palpable for many of us is reflected in the words of Martin Buber – where he describes the absence of genuine dialogue and community. Most of us have had the experience of turning to someone because we are in great need and being deeply disappointed, or having that specter of a conversation with the ghosts of judgment and opinion, built on false impressions about ourselves and others – layers of distortion so great that meaning and dialogue are lost for a time. I wonder if you can relate to his description of Peter and Paul, "Two living beings and six ghostly appearances, which mingle in many ways in the conversation between the two. Where is there room for any genuine interhuman life?" Genuine interhuman life. Buber says that we must recognize that the crisis of humanity is the crisis of what is between humans. And so I say that the work of building healthy relationships is nothing less than the work of saving the planet – for it is in these little pieces that individuals develop the courage and skill to save the world. I want to tell you about my vision for this religious community. I want to tell you how I think we can help each other become men as courageous and skilled as Bayard Rustin (a relatively unknown force behind the civil rights movement –he worked behind the scenes because he was openly gay) women as strong and tenacious as Dr. Wangari Maathai, the Kenyan woman who won the Nobel Peace Prize last year planting trees and empowering women and girls. This vision isn’t as simple a change to make as in a monastery of 5 monks – nor do I mean to imply in any way that we are a dying order. But I do think we inhabit a broken and hurting world, and our chances of helping the world change hinge on our ability to heal ourselves and our relationships. I want to share one way to deepen our faith this morning, and hope that this example leads us to imagine many other ways to deepen our faith – in this community, in our personal lives, in the world. I believe in the power of small group ministry. I believe in the words spoken by Margaret Mead, "never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, indeed it’s the only thing that ever has." Small group ministry refers to a specialized kind of small group formation, intended to help save the world ten at a time. Saving the world and getting through the day. Maybe saving is an off-putting term. Perhaps your car has the bumper sticker which says "born right the first time." The idea is that by supporting, sustaining, and transforming when necessary, our lives into lives of integrity, courage, and health – we can empower ourselves and others – as Margaret Mead suggests – to change the world. These are not therapy groups, they are not even support groups, but they are covenant groups. Called covenant groups because of the agreements we make with one another about how we will engage with each other and the world. These covenants, or agreements, serve to make explicit the implicit rules of engagement. This is critical if we are to celebrate diversity, as we set out to in the mission statement of this church. Because if we all come to a group with different implicit rules of engagement, then misunderstanding and hurt feelings can arise. Sometimes the differences are too subtle to even figure out, and sometimes we attribute someone’s behavior to rudeness, when the truth is, they are simply working from a different set of assumptions. Most often, those assumptions are completely unconscious – and our hope is that we can raise them to awareness to work with them, challenge them when appropriate, and be open to "being the change we seek." Perhaps you come from a family that loves to argue over academic minutia, or perhaps your cultural norm is to arrive late and stay late for everything, or perhaps you prefer lots of quiet and thinking time between words spoken in a meeting – you need to let it all sink in before you say anything,or instead your cultural norm is to interrupt enthusiastically, knowing that others will interrupt you if what they have to say is really important or much funnier than what you are sharing at the moment. Do you see the problem? Pairing a person who won’t speak until there is substantial quiet and room for their voice, with a person who will comfortably fill all the quiet with the sound of their own voice until interrupted…. hurt feelings can arise, misunderstandings, miscommunication… Is it any wonder, that without explicit agreements among us, that we tend to attract people who are most like ourselves? We attract people that mostly share our own implicit assumptions based on class, education and culture – and then we can say "this feels like home" and our assumptions not challenged and we are not changed. Let’s see, not only are we not changed, but our effectiveness in changing the world is limited because we are only working with those most like us…. why is it we want to be so diverse, and yet I hear all the time, an outcry that we lack diversity… Covenant groups are designed to help us get to know each other deeply and to truly celebrate our differences. It is to provide intimacy in a world that leaves many feeling isolated and alone. The covenants help us make explicit our implicit understandings of how the world works and how we should be with one another. The covenants are not fixed, either. The group can agree to behave one way only to discover it doesn’t work for them down the road and change their agreement. What else besides behavioral covenants make a small group a covenant group? We also covenant to serve the world. To change the world as Mead suggests only a small group of committed, thoughtful citizens can do. Each group promises to work on a common project –to take our lives of integrity, courage, and health out into the world and help make it better. Our groups here so far have raised money for Haven House, sorted food at the food bank, fed the choir, performed at a retirement home. Your orders of service are regularly folded by the members of the Burcham Hills Covenant group. Finally, we covenant to welcome new people into our groups – to offer hospitality, an introduction into our spiritually progressive faith through example of our own lives. The behavioral covenants within each group make it possible for newcomers to feel at home immediately. Expectations are made known and they don’t have to guess about the rules. There is immediately a structure in place which allows for full participation the moment a newcomer enters a group – you don’t have to spend time watching the group to see what its norms and understandings are before participating. We’ve learned a lot about small group ministry in this church since we began 3 years ago when you called me as your minister. I started a few groups, hoping that those in them would be so enthusiastic they would spread the good news and catch fire all over the place. That didn’t happen. Though I know quite a few among you who are very keen on these groups and sing their praises, there are others of you who probably experienced a group that, for whatever reason, didn’t catch fire. We’ve learned a lot in these three years. We’ve made some changes this year based on our learning. Most of you, I think, still don’t know much about covenant groups, and that is why I am talking about deepening our faith in this way this morning. One thing I think we learned, is just because covenant groups are deepening and meaningful, that doesn’t mean we need to turn other successful small groups into covenant groups. We tried this with the high school group at one point – ironic, it turns out. Because the whole notion of a covenant group is that you voluntarily enter into agreement with one another, but in the ever elusive attempt to help young adults put structure to their programs, we pushed these groups and basically made what was supposed to be voluntary, involuntary. It didn’t work. And I’m happy to say we didn’t try to force it for too long. A church needs all kinds of successful small groups, and they don’t all need to take the form of covenant groups. Men’s groups, women’s groups, knitting groups, committee work, adult education offerings – all these small groups contribute to the life of the church and there is no reason any of them should feel pressure to change or to become like covenant groups. Now, if those groups falter, there may be something that the facilitators of covenant groups have learned which may help re-vitalize other kinds of groups, but in no way do I want to be heard as saying covenant groups are healthy and other kinds of groups are unhealthy. They’re different. Diverse. Remember, we celebrate diversity. Because diversity sustains life. So, on the subject of diversity again, covenant groups are not affinity groups. One of the things we learned in the strategic planning process was that people in this congregation want some more groups with people of similar interests with people like them. Wonderful. I think you should form them. (and if you don’t know how, come to me, come to me, I can help!) College group. Young adult group. Parents as resident theologians. People caring for aging parents. There are all kinds of affinity groups that would offer support to folks with similar need. I’m all for them. Just know that they are different than covenant groups, and that a healthy church (and a healthy world) need all kinds of groups. Covenant groups are specifically designed for people to meet others who might have different interests, life situation or cultural assumptions. Finally, the most dramatic change we’ve made this year with our covenant groups, based on our learning, is about content. We started our groups three years ago with topics –they were arbitrary topics, based on the interest of the facilitator leading a group. What we learned, was that the topics interfered with understanding about the purpose and nature of a group. People came to the group thinking the group was about the topic, and not about the relationships. Groups did service projects to enhance the theme of their topic – and they remained focused on the subject matter. When relationships got difficult, there was some attrition, rather than conflict resolution. So, the recommendation of last year’s facilitators was to remove topics altogether. Now, the topic is right relationship. For all groups. When you join a group, your purpose is to get to know the others in the group. Period. There will be topics for discussion, but the purpose of those topics is as a starting point for furthering understanding of one another. If you prefer to go into a subject matter more deeply, you’re looking for a religious education course – and I’m happy to say we will be offering plenty of those this year as well. Just know that they are different than covenant groups, and that a healthy church (and a healthy world) need all kinds of groups. You can find out about our adult education offerings at the activities table after church, and there are covenant group registration forms you can fill out and get to the church office. When I titled this sermon Deepening our Faith, I wanted to let you know about one specific way to do the work of deepening. Faith, refers, in a non-creedal religion, not in a common belief in a deity, but rather a common trust in life, and especially our own form of life, humanity. We don’t all agree on the basic nature of a person – some believe humans are born good, others that we are born neutral, or some may believe we are basically alone and on our own, where others affirm an interdependent nature. And yet we are here together, and so Buber asks "What do we expect when we are in despair and yet go to a man? Surely a presence by means of which we are told that nevertheless there is meaning." My faith is in life itself, and the power of a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens to change the world. I have faith in the diversity of life, relationship, and the human condition. May our common faith deepen, and may our lives of integrity, courage and health support, sustain and transform the world along the way. Amen. |