Your Starship Captain Might Be a Redneck If...

- Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
 
  - your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
 
  - he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
 
  - you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
 
  - he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
 
  - he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
 
  - he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum  
    foil
 
  - he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
 
  - he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
    frequencies"
 
  - he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
 
  - he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
 
  - he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
 
  - he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
 
  - he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
 
  - he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
 
  - he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
 
  - he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
 
  - he paints the starship John Deere green
 
  - he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
 
  - he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
 
  - his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
 
  - he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
 
  - his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
 
  - he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
 
  - his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans
    and weenies
 
  - he sets phaser to "Cajun"