Seuss Does Star Trek TNG

 If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...

 Picard:     Sigma Indri, that's the star,
             So, Data, please, how far? How far?

 Data:       Our ship can get there very fast
             But still the trip will last and last
             We'll have two days til we arrive
             But can the Indrans there survive?

 Picard:     LaForge, please give us factor nine.

 LaForge:    But, sir, the engines are offline!

 Picard:     Offline! But why? I want to go!
             Please make it so, please make it so!

 Riker:      But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
             We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
             The danger here is far too great!

 Picard:     But surely we must not be late!

 Troi:       I'm sensing anger and great ire.

 Computer:   Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

 Picard:     The ship's on fire? How could this be?
             Who lit the fire?

 Riker:      Not me.

 Worf:       Not me.

 Picard:     Computer, how long til we die?

 Computer:   Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

 Data:       May I suggest a course to take?
             We could, I think, quite safely make
             Extinguishers from tractor beams
             And stop the fire, or so it seems...

 Geordi:     Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
             Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

 Picard:     Mr. Data, thank you much.
             You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

 Troi:       We still must save the Indran planet --

 Data:       Which (by the way) is made of granite...

 Picard:     Enough, you android. Please desist.
             We understand -- we get your gist.
             But can we get our ship to go?
             Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

 Geordi:     There's sabotage among the wires
             And that's what started all the fires.

 Riker:      We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
             We need to go! We need to go!

 Troi:       We must seek out the traitor spy
             And lock him up and ask him why?

 Worf:       Ask him why? How sentimental.
             I say give him problems dental.

 Troi:       Are any Romulan ships around?
             Have scanners said that they've been found?
             Or is it Borg or some new threat
             We haven't even heard of yet?
             I sense no malice in this crew.
             Now what are we supposed to do?

 Crusher:    Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
             They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
             I can't just sit and let them die!
             A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

 Picard:     Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

 Crusher:    They may be dead by Tuesday noon.


 *COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
  HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*


 Worf:       The saboteur is in the brig.
             He's very strong and very big.
             I had my phaser set on stun --
             A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
             He would not budge, he would not fall,
             He would not stun, no, not at all!
             He changed into a stranger form
             All soft and purple, round and warm.

 Picard:     Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
             Did you see this creature morph?

 Worf:       I did and then I beat him fairly.
             Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

 Riker:      My commendations, Klingon friend!
             Our troubles now are at an end!

 Crusher:    Now let's get our ship to fly
             And orbit yonder Indran sky!

 Picard:     LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

 Geordi:     Yes, sir, we can.

 Picard:     Then make it so!


    THE END