Govingia™ City, February 8, 1997. In a startling turn of events, Brazil has claimed Antarctica and made São Paulo its capital. In an exclusive to Govingia™ This Month informants acknowledged that Brazil has now laid claim to all of Antarctica. Signs have been put up all around the newly-named capital declaring the truth of the accusations. The United Nations Security Council has scheduled a special meeting to discuss the issue in 2010. Govingian authorities had pressed for an earlier date, but Brazilian parliamentary maneouvering forced the delay. When asked why Brazil decided on this momentous event, informants admitted off the record that the national tuxedo shortage was a consideration. Although Brazilians are usually quite informal, tuxedos now claim as much as R$ 3000 on the black market. By claiming Antarctica, it has been suggested that Brazil hopes to import duty-free thousands of tuxedos often worn now by penguins. Keep reading Govingia™ This Month for more on this late breaking story.

Govingia™ City, February 21, 1997. In a bid to reduce highway maintenance costs, the Govingian parliament, or Diet, today decreed that all road signs would be removed and replaced by signs at the borders of the nation decreeing that hazards were henceforth to be unmarked. Ms. Josephine Panneau, Director of Highway Safety, explained that the new procedure would save the department millions of Govinds per year. Moreover, by not marking the highways, drivers' responsibility for engaging in careful driving would be increased. Critics argue that the new policy puts the public at serious risk and will increase the auto accident rate, now estimated to be only G-rated. Nevertheless, Ms. Panneau appears ready to follow the orders she has been given by the Diet. "This kind of belt-tightening is the good for the nation," she said.

Govingia™ City, February 30, 1997. Authorities today celebrated the opening of the D. Sel-Feuel Home for Retired Gas Pumps at 432 Petro Parkway. The home consists of 50 beautifully landscaped acres on which retired gas pumps will be able to while away their time after being removed from daily use. On the opening day many old pumps were primed for the occasion. Said one, "Gosh, its good to be away from all the hustle and bustle of traffic. All those fumes were really eating away at my skin ... er, paint." Many other pumps apparently share similar views. Govingian authorities estimate as many as 3000 pumps might one day inhabit this wonderful site.

However, there is a minority view, expressed by one rather tall, handsome blue fellow who would not give us his name (see photo): "They just put us out to pasture. What kind of productive work can one do here anyway? We all just stand around and rust! And after a lifetime of service, too. We simply don't get any respect." Authorities admit that facilities are currently a bit rustic, but they assure us that they are working to insure that the old pumps can retire in dignity.

Govingia™ City, February 12, 1997. In a surprise move, the Govingian Dental Society (GDS) has begun picketing reruns of the famed American movie series, Star Wars. The GDS, in a statement issued yesterday, decried the fact that despite the enormous distances Star Wars characters travel, they never clean their teeth. Said Dr. Michael Brush, a spokesperson for the GDS: "Let me get to the root of the issue rather than poking at the enamel. We believe that the oral hygiene of the nation is at risk when innocent children are subjected to hours of film in which no one is concerned about the health of their teeth. It leaves a great cavity in our national health system when people are filling our children's heads with this rubbish. Moreover, the Star Wars portrayal is entirely unrealistic. What real princess would go that long without attending to her oral cavity?"

Picketing outside the Empire Theatre in downtown Govingia™ City, demonstrators could be seen carrying plaques with the slogan, "May the Floss Be With You." To date the demonstrations have been surprisingly peaceful. American preacher Oral Roberts has said that he may also join the demonstration, if Govingian authorities provide a visa.

I really don't believe that Govingia™ exists. I have discussed it with all my friends from Vulcan and Romulus and they say that it is really a fiction. Besides, I can't find any encyclopedia that lists it. What do you make of this?

Doubting Thomas.

Dear Doubting,

You are apparently lacking in credulity. Of course you can't find Govingia™ in American encyclopedias! They are written for Americans. How many Americans know where France is? And you expect them to know where Govingia™ is. Geeees. As to your Vulcan and Romulan friends, what makes you think that you can trust them, anyway? Ed.

Dear Editor,

[Deleted to fit style and space limitations (and besides, we didn't want to answer it.)]

Yours truly,

Mary Contrary

More to come...