All those persons seeking Govingian citizenship are requested to complete the form below and to send it via the magic of the Internet to the Govingian Ministry of Immigration. Please type hard as you are making several carbon copies. Upon receipt, each application will be carefully scrutinized by our competent and highly original staff. Soon after, approvals or denials will be sent to the requestors. Please understand that no applications can be returned and that all decisions are finally dependent on the whim of the examiners. Incomplete forms will be sent to Cyberia for completion.

Name of applicant (Last, First, Middle):

Street address of applicant: 

City, State, Country: 

Postal Code: Daytime Telephone: 

Shoe Size: Glove Size: Exercise: 

Please check all that apply:

I have never been a member of the vegetarian party.

I snore in my sleep.

I snore when I am wide awake.

My mother chews tobacco.

I have an insatiable desire for chocolate ice cream.

I fill out citizenship forms on the Worldwide Web.

I know that Ronald Reagan was a good actor.

I wish to import exotic plants or animals into Govingia™.

I have always wanted to become a citizen of Govingia™.

I will add significantly to Govingian scientific and cultural achievements. 

In the box provided, please write a brief 50,000 word essay explaining why you wish to become a citizen of Govingia™:

Please type your unique eight letter password in the box below. This will insure that only you can receive our special secure, encrypted and entirely undecipherable replies:  

I, being of sound mindlessness, do solemnly swear, on penalty of perjury, and pertaining to all of the laws and conditions set forth thereto, whence is found guiltless unless otherwise affected, and is neither spindled, folded or mutilated, and containing all the ingredients herein contained, and hereafter known to me and to my heirs and descendants, whither I do declare, and so declareth say I, that unless unbeknownst to me and my spouse, should I have any such spouse, in the presence of witnesses who doeth witness this witless declaration, I sign my name hitherto unto this document and codicil, window sill, and electric bill. (Signed), , this day of of the year of our King Burger,  

When you have completed this application, check over all the answers for accuracy and click on the word "submit" below. This will send your request directly into cyberspace, where it will probably never be heard from again. If you decide not to request citizenship at this point, click on the home icon below.